Welcome to the last Pulse of 2024. What better way to close out this series than an eggnog-fueled holiday edition? Eat, drink, read, and be merry.
Who Will Get That Christmas Bonus?
Some big-money programs are going to get antsy when the QB musical chairs stop, and they are left wanting. Unlike Frank Shirley in Christmas Vacation, Miami donors tend to be a little more generous with their NIL bonuses this time of year. They wouldn’t take no for an answer with Cam Ward last year when they convinced him to pull out of the draft. Now that the Canes have swung and missed on John Mateer, who will receive their Jelly of the Month holiday bonus?
Two candidates come to mind. Jalen Milroe and Quinn Ewers. Both are in the situation of “you ain’t got to go pro, but you can’t stay here” with their respective programs. Milroe is rumored not to be hiring an agent if he does declare. Does South Beach Santa have a big enough bag to keep either around another year?
It’s a Festivus Miracle!
Diego Pavia is arguing that Junior College should not count towards NCAA eligibility since the NCAA doesn’t govern JUCO. And so far, he’s winning. I’m not a lawyer, but I play one for CFF purposes. I have no clue if this injunction (whatever the hell that is) will hold up throughout the 2025 season, but let’s pretend it does for a minute.
If it’s a Festivus for the rest of us, then more voices than Pavia can be heard. Who else might want to pull the Festivus pole out of the crawl space, air their grievances, and display their feats of strength? Here are some other CFF-relevant players who spent time in JUCO and could have more eligibility than we thought:
Myrtle Beach Bowl
UTSA plays a road game against Coastal Carolina in Myrtle Beach… on a Monday… at 10 AM local time for San Antonio viewers who care enough to call in to work so they can watch. Coastal has 24 players currently in the transfer portal, with multiple days to go before the game. This game is prime live betting material, as the Myrtle Beach hangover will be in full effect. It’s hard to imagine a bowl being more sicko mode than this.
Buffalo Bulls…Seriously?
I took head coach Pete Lembo and OC Dave Patenaude about as seriously as the Wet Bandits took Kevin McCallister upon their first burglary attempt at that suburban Chicago home. But I’ll be more prepared next year than Marv and Harry were in Home Alone 2. Over the season’s last two months, CJ Ogbonna was a top 10 QB, and Al-Jay Henderson was a top 20 RB. Even the WR room with Victor Snow and JJ Jenkins had their moments in conference play.
You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Sark
All Ralphie wanted for Christmas was a Red Ryder BB gun, but the adults in the room thought it was absurd even to make such a request. It would elude him throughout the entirety of the film… until the very end.
Likewise, all Steve Sarkisian wants for Christmas is a 1K-yard rusher (and maybe a title). Despite the injuries to the backfield, the fumbles, and the abysmal run game at times, he’s begging for his streak of 9 straight 1K rushers to continue. The CFF “adults in the room” had written off this possibility all season long. Don’t look now, but the Old Man still has something hidden behind the hearth…It’s a Tre Wisner gift sitting at 863 yards, ready to be unwrapped in the playoffs.
Thanks for reading this series all season long. I hope it helped in some way or at least provided a moment or two of entertainment. Be sure to check out our latest episode covering the portal madness on Defending the Natty under the Chasing the Natty podcast feed.
Until next year, folks. Merry Christmas…the sh*tter was full.
