(Eddy) You must remember, you’re father and mine, they used to fish for salmon on the Spey.
That’s right. And that matters.
– Max, The Gentlemen (2019)
One stormy evening last week, in the plush offices of the VP headquarters lounge, I sat down with a glass of whiskey by the fireplace and decided to take a trip down memory lane. As I reclined into my suede seat, I recalled some of my fondest CFF memories. While reminiscing on the 2019 season—a year that produced four 2,000-yard runners—I wondered where exactly are the OCs responsible for this now?
The 2019 CFB season was a special one. It was a year of widespread obesity throughout the Power Five leagues. There were some notable ultra-pigs in the Group of Five as well (e.g., Buffalo’s Jaret Patterson and WMU’s Levontae Bellamy). Still, the big three of Oklahoma State’s Chuba Hubbard, Wisconsin’s double 2,000+ yard rusher Jonathan Taylor, and Ohio State’s JK Dobbins led the way in CFB.
While we haven’t seen a runner touch this feat since, 2,000-yard rushers used to be the norm in CFB. In fact, you’d have to go all the way back to the 2012 season to find the first season without at least one since 2019. Furthermore, the 2000s featured a scale of sheer degeneracy that we will (unfortunately) probably never see again. Forget 300+ carry runners; 2007’s Kevin Smith finished with 450 (holy fucking shit). The other two 2K-yard runners from that season were Rutgers’ Ray Rice, who toted the pig 380 times, and Tulane’s Matt Forte, who notched 361.
To put things in some perspective, the 2019 season provided five 300+ carry runners, while this past season (2023) provided none.
As I became increasingly curious, I decided to tap into the VP archives and began sifting through the old files in the library in search of whom the OCs of 2019’s 2K-yard rushers were. Upon discovering what I found, I called a meeting between the firm’s partners—an eclectic and fabulously wealthy group (many of whom inherited their knowledge and wealth from the CFF wise men that came before them)—to discuss.
After an initial exchange of business cards and high-end dinner reservations (plus the occasional rousing of one’s golf swing), we discussed the meeting topic. I mentioned that the sole non-RB to clear 2,000 yards that season was Navy’s option QB, who almost toted the pig 300 times. I also told them that the OCs who produced the three 2000-yard RBs were all still involved in CFB, some even as primary play callers.
Ohio State
HC: Ryan Day — OC: Kevin Wilson — RB: JK Dobbins (301-2003-21)
The 2019 season was a massively productive campaign from a real and a fantasy perspective for the Buckeyes. They had a player many considered the best defensive player in CFB in Chase Young, a Heisman candidate in Justin Fields, and a 2,000-yard runner in JK Dobbins. As someone who rostered Fields in one of my leagues, I can attest that the only problem with the Buckeyes that year was that they were deleting their opponents so quickly that their players were being pulled at halftime. At least, the QB and some of the receivers were.
Dobbins was fed a steady diet of volume throughout the season, but even he went six games with less than 20 carries, though his overall numbers were bolstered through a three-game 30+ carry stretch to end the season.
While it may surprise many, it was the CFF Seppuku Lord, Ryan Day, who was the head coach of this Buckeye team—I know, I know, surprising, right? Somehow, Day’s become less of a gangster and more of a filthy communist who believes in ‘load management’ and ‘spreading the touches.’ Christ, all mighty, what the hell happened to this guy?
His OC was Kevin Wilson, who had joined the Buckeyes in 2017. Wilson was coming over from Indiana, where he served as head coach from 2011 to 2016. Wilson’s Hoosiers became a fortress for CFF excellence at the RB position in the latter years of his tenure. From 2011-2013, there were zero 1000-yard rushers. From 2014 to 2016, there were four (three years straight), including a 2,000-yard rusher in Tevin Coleman in 2015.
Yet, it’s important to note that Coleman did this on only 270 carries—the word ‘only’ being used as a relative measure here. His 2015 team produced two 1,000-yard rushers, one carrying the ball 196 times and the other 226.
So, while it isn’t entirely surprising that one of Wilson’s runners would breach the 2,000-yard mark—I view this achievement similarly to how law enforcement views criminals, the most likely offenders are repeat offenders—it’s not exactly like his runners were consistently taking on absurd amounts of volume the way Dobbins finished with in 2019.
Wilson left OSU in 2022 to take the head coaching job at Tulsa. His first season was largely a disappointment, but there were a few fleeting glimpses of a pig being born in his backfield. Anthony Watkins had a few moments in the sun. So did Jordan Ford, who has since transferred out.
I’d keep your eyes peeled on how the backfield shakes out in 2024. They don’t call Kevin Wilson ‘Mr. 2K’ at IHOP for no reason…
Wisconsin
HC: Paul Chryst — OC: Joe Rudolph — RB: Jonathan Taylor (320-2003-21)
This era of Wisconsin football was a particularly special one for CFF. The 2010s saw the Badgers produce nine 1,000-yard rushers in ten seasons, including a 2,500+ yard rushing season from Melvin Gordon in 2014. Three out of the nine 1,000+ yard seasons were 2,000+ yard seasons—an absolutely absurd distinction. Let us pause for a moment for a round of applause for the Wisconsin Badgers football program 👏👏👏.
It should be noted that the staff there in 2019 weren’t solely responsible for this rushing success. Chryst, the head coach, joined in 2015, the year after Gordon’s historic season. His OC, Joe Rudolph, joined with him in the same year. Even still, these two mad geniuses were avid pig farmers during their times in Madison, and for that, they have my respect.
Of course, it’s easy to subscribe to the rampant pig-farming philosophy when a true freshman sensation like Jonathan Taylor steps on campus with an NFL-ready chassis. Taylor broke out within the first handful of weeks of his freshman season and literally never looked back. He finished the 2017 season with an astounding 1,977 yards! Most impressive, he did this short of 300 carries (299). The 2018 season was much of the same—a steady diet of Taylor behind a massive line of cheese-fed midwestern farm boys (a deadly combination indeed). This season proved to be Taylor’s best from a rushing perspective, finishing with 2,194 yards and 16 scores.
And then, of course, there was the 2019 season, when Taylor rushed for 2,003 yards. His rushing took a step back because the Badgers used him more as a receiver than in previous seasons. He added to this stellar 21 rushing TDs with five more via the air, though his overall yardage would still fall short of his rushing total from 2018.
Chryst, of course, remained with the program for several more seasons, and looked to have rediscovered another genie in the bottle with Braelon Allen in 2021. He was unfortunately fired a season later and is now an analyst at Texas.
His OC, Rudolph, bounced from Virginia Tech to Notre Dame as the OL coach and run game coordinator. Perhaps his influence had something to do with Auric Estime’s breakout this past season.
Nonetheless, it’s unfortunate to see how far these—once great pig farmers—have fallen, and neither are they currently occupying a primary play-calling role.
Oklahoma State
HC: Mike Gundy — OC: Sean Gleeson — RB: Chuba Hubbard (328-2094-21)
The outer world may know Gundy from his—at times—maniacal press conference outbursts, but CFF degenerates know him as an avid pig farmer, a fierce competitor, and a great man.
In fact, you could be forgiven for mistaking this year’s Ollie Gordon with 2019’s Chuba Hubbard—another lanky sophomore who exploded in his second season with the Pokes. Hubbard took the crown in 2019 for fattest pig of the year, with a mind-bending 328 carries. He also caught 23 passes for 128 yards.
The OC at the time was a man named Sean Gleeson, whose name sounded more like a rogue financial trader from the 1990s. Wait, no, that was Nick Leeson. Nonetheless, Gleeson was a degenerate in his own right, feeding an ungodly amount of volume to Hubbard.
Curiously, Gleeson moved on to take the same position with Rutgers the following season and OC’d the Knights until 2022. His offenses produced zero—count it—zero, pigs in the backfield. He is now an analyst at Northwestern. Fucking hell.
I guess it was Gundy calling the shots, as we all suspected. Of the three names covered today (HCs and OCs), I’d say Gundy is most likely to repeat as a 2,000+ yard pig farmer in 2024.
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